Now, More than Ever

As time marches on and the tides of time test my new foundation in life, I find that the stance of Atheism only strengthens itself under criticism. What a pleasant stance to have.

Reality makes more sense in the light of reason. In the midst of Religion, it is only muddled, cloudy and tough to keep straight. It relies heavily on rationalizations, whereas free thought finds solace in rational thinking.

God is inconsistent. His followers spend a hell of a lot of time defending him against all the things that don't make sense. They say he is infinitely loving, except when he doesn't want to be, and then it's not his fault anyway thanks to freewill. All criticism is deflected by some vague interpretation of a book that was never written to refute such claims. Blindly gripping what cannot be firmly held.

Commandment Eleven.

Science, reasons, logic. What solace I have find in these words. No longer are they to be feared as the arrogant, rebellious challenges of man. They represent the vastness of the human mind, intellect and reasoning power. Much like the painter's brush, these tools are limited by their holder, but knowledge can be combined and together we all benefit from real knowledge.

There is nothing known that is not known as a result of science. Everything else is wishful thinking and guesses.

I'm reminded every day of my former life. It feels like much further behind me than it actually is, but I couldn't be happier. All things make sense now, all questions either have answers or test the limits of our knowledge. No more trusting beyond my own mind, my own sense of correctness, my own sensibilities. In the past, I would have seen such thinking as arrogant, smug, rebellious. Now, I see myself as imperfect, but growing. I'm actually capable of doing things on my own and needn't feel guilty for acknowledging that.

I basically walk around like this.

I detest faith based reasoning. I hate the foolish and harmful decisions it pulls intelligent people toward due to ignorance. I wish everyone could understand the beauty of reality, but unfortunately as with many other things, fantasy is much more appealing in the right now and requires much less effort to become an expert.

Atheism is the one thing that ought to be proselytized were the sharing of religious opinions not so repugnant. Live and let live as the people say. Easier said than done, sometimes.

My life has meaning, my efforts have purpose. I make my own destiny and it has never felt better. Life in the light of truth is incomparable to any other fantasy. In some ways it is harder, you have to think for yourself, you know? In other ways, it is so easy it's impossible to imagine a time when I didn't embrace it.

It's a shame people are so dependent on religion, it's a shame they cannot see how their religion breeds dependence in them. Religion is a vicious circle of weakness, insecurity and fear masked in truth and righteousness.

To my fellow atheists, it's an honor to be counted among your numbers. To the rest of you, just try testing your beliefs, would you? After all, if talking snakes are real, then why can't we come from monkeys?

Religion Never Hurt Anybody

What would you do for your children when they're sick? Probably anything, right? You'd take them to the finest doctors, pay whatever it cost, you'd see as many specialists as possible. Even if it was something fairly common like asthma, if your child was suffering you'd do whatever you had do to, right?

So you can also probably sympathize with these parents who had their daughter beaten bloody, impaled with a red hot poker and left paralyzed for life in order to exorcize her asthma demon? I mean, anything's better than asthma, right?

This is what faith based decision making leads to in its most extreme cases. No tests are done, they simply declare the poor girl cured and continue on. Well, what the fuck happens when her asthma flares up again? They'll move the goalpost and say something like "her faith wasn't strong enough" or "she did xyz and allowed the demon back in" And an entire community looks the other way.

This is why religion must not be allowed to grow uninhibited. It must be opposed for the sake of little children who have no say. Faith healing over modern medicine is not a phenomena specific to foreign, uneducated lands.

Case in point.  Now, they certainly didn't beat the poor buy into a paralytic state. But he fucking died. The child is dead from an easily treatable condition because people choose faith, a method which has never passed any test, has never accomplished any measurable result in anything it was applied to and they picked it over a fucking doctor because a really, really old book made them feel guilty about trusting reason and scientific efforts.

No, but people need religion, right?

Religious Tolerance at its Finest

So this poor guy was forcibly impeded from his basic human freedom of choice.

We can only learn so much from an article, but it doesn't appear that he was proselytizing, or challenging the old ways. He simply wanted to explore his own roots like any curious adult might. He built something with his own time and money for his own personal use and the bigots banded together to tear it down.

Why? Because they believed it was satanic.

Nevermind that "Satanic" has no real meaning. It's not like it had horns and was called the "Satan Invitation Location". These ignorant morons think that it's evil because some missionaries told them it was evil. The missionaries think it's evil because someone told them.

"I fucking love sweat lodges!"

In spite of the fact that there is no such thing as witchcraft or magic these people formed a mob and destroyed and restricted the efforts of another human being for fear of them. All in the name of Christianity.

Faith is of no value to knowledge and is extremely pertinent to ignorance. Why do we tolerate such an intolerant, illogical basis for decision making? Why is faith-based reasoning not laughed out of courts and strictly punished when it crosses these lines? Why must we continue to walk on eggshells around people who are too stupid to challenge their own idiotic beliefs?

Why does reason not rule and are we getting closer or further from it?

I feel it's best to resist the vocal ignorance when we come across it, we ought not accommodate their stupidity. We should stand firm and make ourselves immovable objects that they must be forced to contend with. You can keep your stupidity corralled up in your own house, but do not even think it will be accepted in mine. Truth must be held over superstition. Feelings are not as important as reality and people must come to terms with it eventually whether they like it or not. I would even go so far as to say that crimes committed in the name of religion ought to be deemed hate crimes and punished as such. If the group of vandals were white while the owner of the sweat lodge was black, this would be a different matter. If he were making a gay demonstration and they responded equally, it would be a big deal as well. So why must religious differences be treated so lightly in the eyes of the public. This should just as unacceptable as any other form of intolerance.

Yes, we should be intolerant of intolerance.

Atheist Bingo

See this Atheist Bingo Card that by simply listing them, pokes fun at the questions we often receive right off the bat.

Some of these are quite comical and of course, all of them have an answer. Here are some of the more common ones, in my experience:


You can't prove there's no God: More importantly, you can't prove there is one. You can't disprove Zeus, Invisible Pink Unicorns or that the universe didn't begin 5 seconds ago with the appearance of age. Nobody can prove a negative, but that doesn't mean the assertion is therefore verified. Idiot.

You are so closed-minded: Ironically, it's my open mind that got me this far. Not accepting certain blind faith assertions because they aren't convincing is not being closed minded, it's limiting the amount of nonsense you use to make decisions. The ideal amount of nonsense is zero. Being convinced of a certain point of view and remaining so in spite of your poorly reasoned logical slow pitch lobs is not the same as being closed, merely I'm already past your tired point of view and you can't see past it. Moron.

Where do you get your morals?: I get them from the society like you do. We don't have to consciously vote on morality to determine what we will and will not tolerate. Some would say Homosexuality is immoral, but this view is quickly shifting. When it gains popular acceptance on a larger scale, will everyone be wrong in calling it moral? By what testable standard? (hint: the bible doesn't count. Gays have been around a bit longer) Murder, we can agree, is immoral. I wouldn't want to be murdered and I wouldn't want others to be murdered. I support this as a good place to draw the line between good and bad. I don't use the Bible as a basis and i certainly don't claim an unobservable being created them secretly and waited 4.6 billion years to share them with us. We can see that killing is harmful to a peaceful society, so the morals themselves have evolved. In the Old West, you might have been able to kill more often than today. Morals change with the times. No need for God. Turd.

Hitler/Stalin/Pol Pot was an atheist too, you know?: Aside from the fact that Hitler was a Christian, Stalin and Pol Pot were atheists. But they were never committing atrocities in the NAME of atheism. Religions of all kinds have done far worse in the name of their God than anyone has done in the name of Atheism. Being a thing doesn't mean your actions are driven by that thing. Jackass.

There are no atheists in foxholes: Aside from this being demonstrably untrue, do you really think that belief is valid when it's only motivated by mortal fear? Do you hold your own decisions dear when they are made under duress? Surely people seek comfort in hard times and may trade rational thoughts for irrational ones. Does that make these irrational thoughts suddenly true? Of course not. Don't be silly. Nuts!

Nothing but emotional arguments or logical fallacies. It's amazing to me that so many people continue to believe, though I guess I was on the other side once as well.

Do you have any others you'd like to rebut?

What it Takes to Deconvert.

Found this little gem.

What do you think? Is this accurate? Anything missing from this list?

Evidence of God

Okay, so in reality, this just made me laugh. A lot. Thought I'd share it with all of you.

Enjoy.

Islam is the Light

This is a fun video. That proselytizing baby is just some damn precious, I can feel myself being swayed already. I've already given up pork.

It's fascinating how much attention this thing is getting. It's a doll with a religious message. They make a big deal about how the game is marked as "E for Everyone" and should be safe for all ages. It's licensed by Nintendo, so allowing it in there means they are promoting Islam, and as we all know, there is nothing more dangerous than exposing children to the dangerous ideas of dogmatic theology before they reach the appropriate critical thinking age....

I actually find this news report quite irritating. They have taken no steps to verify that this is what the doll is actually saying, they're is no voice analysis, no expert opinion, not even any second opinion for christ's sake. They just throw it up like its fact. And you know what, it does sound like she's saying that when you're told ahead of time.

This is obviously a classic case of pareidolia. It's the same logic used in Electronic Voice Phenomena (EVP) or seeing the famous face on Mars, or the man in the moon. We connect the dots ourselves, we make the connection, we look for order where there is none.

It certainly could be saying "Islam is the light" but it could also just be fucking baby talk. You can be sure that if it was saying "Jesus is the light" there would be no news story because for some reason it's not longer age inappropriate when it's your own particular brand of lunacy.

Catholicism is just fine...

Father Ricardo Seppia, yet another priest sent up for child abuse.

Pictured: Proof Religion is good.

I'm really not sure how much more of this shit will be put up with. It outrages everyone who hears it, it hurts and scars countless children, it destroys lives, minds and bodies. And that's just from the outside perspective. What must the church be doing to counteract this? It keeps happening over and over, it's been highly publicized and yet these cretinous monsters continue in their abuse. They claim to be a guiding light and then act like horrible human beings. It's almost like there is no real weight to any of their claims of supernatural guidance and power....

Here's an excerpt:

 Father Riccardo Seppia, a 51-year-old parish priest in the village of Sastri Ponente, near Genoa, was arrested last Friday, May 13, on pedophilia and drug charges. Investigators say that in tapped mobile-phone conversations, Seppia asked a Moroccan drug dealer to arrange sexual encounters with young and vulnerable boys. "I do not want 16-year-old boys but younger. Fourteen-year-olds are O.K. Look for needy boys who have family issues," he allegedly said.

 Now, I wouldn't presume to be so general as to say all Catholics are evil or all priests are child molesters, but clearly there are a lot of them and they continue getting away with it. It would be naive to assume that this was the last one and now it's all stopped and everything is fixed.

Ironically, the Vatican picked the very week of this story to send a letter to all bishops with advice on reducing child molestation among clergy. They sent a letter. That's the huge fucking child saving step they are taking. A sternly worded memo. How about background checks to start? Maybe follow that up with another level of authority that monitors Priests day to day activities? A little check and balance, you know? If the abuse primarily happens in the church, then how about removing all the doors from the buildings. Make rules that prohibit unsupervised contact between a Priest and anyone. Are these too extreme for you? Maybe infringing too much on the rights of the innocent priest's who have done nothing? Maybe we should just continue to wait for the bad ones to get caught before we put extreme measures into effect at their location. These may not stop it all, but at least make it harder for these sons of bitches.

What about closing down a church where an offender worked. Oh no, how could the locals possible get by without their weekly dose of myth?

Can you think of any other organization at the world that would be allowed to continue with business as usual after even just one count of paedophilia? Why is the Catholic church given immunity from outside interference?

Florida Fails Humanity

So Florida got a little out of hand today.

They tried to pass a law against bestiality and wound up banning the fucking lot of us from fucking even a little within their state borders.

Yes, it's stupid and yes I know that they aren't referring to humans as being the same as animals because we don't like to think of ourselves that way, but tough shit. We are animals. Just because we have bigger brains and the capacity for abstract thought doesn't mean we don't all have the same great great great great great (times a googolplex) grandparents.

It's ignorance like this that frustrates me to no end. If the people running the goddamned government don't understand basic principles such as this enough to incorporate it into the language of the Fucking Laws they are making, then what else are they going to screw up.

Why must intelligence be such a scarcity in the general public?

Osama and other drugs

Pictured: Official terrorist greeting.

On September 11, 2001 I worked at Blockbuster video on the west coast. We'd had some sort of inventory morning which meant I was working from 4 or 5 am. I finished by 6ish and got to go home earlier than all the other losers/friends/coworkers. I remember that as I entered the house, the phone was already ringing. It was one of my high school friends (I'd just graduated) telling me to turn on the news because it was World War 3.

The second plane hadn't hit yet. Smoke pouring from the building. Replaying the footage over and over. Home video, people screaming, crying. Was it Saddam? Was it an accident? Who was responsible? By the end of that first day we had our name: Osama.

All of our anger, our hatred, our indignation was directed toward that man. He would not have the last laugh. He had no idea the can of worms he'd just opened. Then he became impossible to find. He made some videos, we thought he was dead once a couple months later, but we were wrong, he just slipped off the grid. Living in caves, they said. Needle in a haystack.

Now two invaded countries and ten years later, we got him. A violent end for a violent man. And I'm glad.

Ironically, I was at work when I found out. I was at work for a unusually late night, as opposed to an unusually early morning. I immediately raced home to catch the speech, to get the details, to learn everything I could. I was excited, I was overjoyed. Finally, a face had been brought to justice, even if his machine continues working without him, at least we got the bastard.

My coworkers however seemed less than enthused. Like I was telling them about who won the Best Screenplay Oscar or something. Mild surprise ("Oh, really?") then back to work, back to life. Over it before it began.

This is shocking to me, but I guess all the hubbub, violence and disappointments over the years have desensitized some of us to the original momentum. It's hard to see the value of more violence when we've been waste deep in it, psychologically anyway, for nearly as long as we've been hunting his ass down.

Maybe that's his final victory. Maybe terrorists only need be patient enough to wear us down so that we lose interest in defeating them. At any rate, at least we can stamp one more figure on the side of our cockpit.

I leave you with this:

There Never Was No God

Discovered this pretty little ditty the other day.

I feel that this really sums up where I feel that the world should be, or rather could be if it weren't for the destructive influence of religion on our societies.

I think that religious people of all faith's often feel like they're given a get out of jail free card for life. They answer to someone that cannot be controlled or even verified and they say he's capable of allowing or condemning just about anything they want.

If only we humans could realize that all the things we want changed, controlled, or different is up to us to make happen. We are our own revolution and the world is what we make it. As Frank says, "We're all in this together". What a beautiful thought that is. We are all in the same exact position in this world, nobody higher or greater than another, and the best way to deal with our existence, our society, our community is to work together, to support each other, to help each other along. Because know amount of prayer is going to accomplish a single thing. Let's put our efforts and positivity in a direction that actually makes a difference.

The religious undoubtedly would take offense to the implication that their belief system is a degradation to an intelligent society, but the distinction is that religion exists in the void between what is knowable and what is imaginable. It is by such a definition, not intelligent.

When intelligent analysis is applied, all religion is found wanting. It may defend itself for a time, but eventually it comes down to believing in spite of itself. As Michael Shermer said, "Smart people are very good at rationalizing things they came to believe for non-smart reasons".

If there Never Was No God, then there are a hell of a lot of things in this world that need to be done away with. Think of the destruction caused by religious intolerance, dogmatic adherence to ancient stories, violent suppression of dissenting ideas. Just think where the world would be today without Hitlers. How would the world be different if an additional 6 million people had been allowed to carry on their lives, procreate, contribute to the world, and make a difference. What if there had been more Copernicuses and Galileos and Keplers. What if they were not only permitted but encouraged with no religious opposition? What might we know by now?

If there Never Was No God then we might life in a world where people were less afraid to be themselves, where there were less complexes, repression and abuse of various kinds. Maybe something would have taken religions place, but maybe not. What is certain is that innumerable counts of harm have been done in the name of the various gods, and all without a single shred of fucking evidence to back up their claim.

Really, religion was inevitable. We don't have these beliefs because they manifested and made themselves known, but because humans seem to desperately want to believe in things bigger than themselves, beyond their own feeble, weak existence. How much bigger we all feel when we think there is an infinite being who is interested in us.

I, for one, see society headed in a gods-free direction and am quite happy to say that There Never Was No God. Let's hope that idea spreads even more rapidly than it has so we might move away from all the chaos, fear and unintelligent ideas that govern our lives.

Debate

One of the more frustrating aspect of debating someone about something is when they only address things easy to defend and leave the really tough important stuff by the wayside. In my opinion, this is largely down to being either human or a christian.

It's fine if you don't want to analyze your own beliefs, as ludicrous as they may be. If you enjoy the comfort of your prescription blinders and see little need to enter into the realm of provable theories like the rest of us, then that's up to you, but if you decided to take the risky first steps known as "rational thought" and enter into a debate, then the very least you could do is be honest with yourself.

Accept the fact, flat out, that you have no evidence. You can't prove a damn thing. You guess a lot, you have to read into things and search for something you can point to as evidence. You've already made up your mind, you're not starting from zero and allowing the evidence to lead you where it will, you're trying to prove your theory AFTER reaching your conclusion.

Can't you see how idiotic that is? Yes, you're an idiot. (ad hominem)

There are plenty of philosophical debates to be had, plenty of "what if" discussions. That's all fine, but do not pretend that your belief is anything but a guess. It's called a BELIEF for notChrist's sake, not a FACT. It's something that you feel is true without being able to show it.

I would be happy if just one young earth creationist, or just one christian, or just one of you idiots would provide me with something tangible, something quantifiable, something measurable, testable and if you don't have it, then feel free to admit that you can't prove anything but choose to believe anyway. Don't pretend it's logical, because it isn't.

I'm sorry I called you all idiots. (makes it OK).

Sorry for the Delay

Life has me by the proverbial balls and I've not had much time or inspiration for the blog this month, but rest assured I have not abandoned her.

More to come this week...

Irrational Rationale

I was reading a Christian blog recently and one of the posts was titled "When we run out of rational explanations, time to call on God!"

Which ironically applies to either side, depending on the arguer.

The Christian ideal is such a pleasant and comforting one. At least, in a perfect world free of extremists it is. There is an all powerful being who routinely intervenes in the world and stirs things up. His touch breaks the rules of physics and logic and this is how we know him, when he is outside of reason, of rational thought.

He can step into any situation and fix it, in spite of how bad the situation really is. It doesn't matter, he can do anything, even change peoples minds, hearts, attitudes, etc. He picks sides, but somehow he makes everything work out so everyone is happy. Or, if they're not happy, then they are in rebellion anyway so it's their problem.

This being answers to nobody and does whatever he wants, whenever he wants and it's always the right thing. He has a master plan that cannot be thrown off course because he already knew how it could go wrong and corrected for it before it even got there.

He is incredibly concerned with the intimate details of your life and will not hesitate to get involved should you step out of line or need to learn some lesson. He loves those who have no love, holds those who are not held and guides those without direction. He is perfect in every way and wants to be your friend!

What an amazing idea! It's almost like he made us in such a precise imperfection that he would compliment us in just the exact ways that we needed. He just happens to be all the things we wish we could be, but aren't. Or he designed it to work that way. Either way. Cool.

You could also look at it another way...

There is no being, only you and biology. You exist because life exists and eventually turned into you. The world follows certain rules and laws that govern everything by the same standard, but judge nothing. These rules and laws have NEVER actually been broken, in spite of the many claims that never seem to be claimed the same way twice.

Your problems are your own. You can enlist the help of your friends, or you can deal with them yourself. Other's attitudes must be tolerated, ignored or forcibly changed, but only in as much as they will allow. Wishful thinking gets you little more than disappointment. If people don't like the outcome of an event, they can accept it or fight to change it, but their opinion is just as valid as yours.

You define your own life's course and plan. You do what you want to do and you alone are responsible for the consequences of your actions. Nobody judges your thoughts, or your motives in a way that holds you accountable. You get to be you and no one has the authority to tell you otherwise.

The world is full of trillions of variables that affect every individual. Some are born to shit parents, others amazing parents. Some are born poor, others rich. Some people have charming personalities, others are socially awkward. All these variables lead to different outcomes that are impossible to predict. Some have no love, others have no one to hold them, while more still wander aimlessly through life just hoping to maintain the status quo.

We are imperfect and incapable of attaining perfection. We bumble through life until we die and we make the most out of it. Relationships come and go, loved ones are born and die, some genes pass on, some never fully mature. Humans project what they want for themselves onto others, they imagine superbeings that compliment them perfectly without ever actually observing them with any natural method.

The point is this. Rational answers never run out, so there is no need to call on a god. Not understanding is not that same as missing an answer. And since God is not included under "rational answers" then at what point is it ok to pick an irrational answer to a problem? What sort of thinking is that?

Why not instead accept that some questions don't have answers. You shouldn't fill in the blank with whatever you feel is right when you can't know the right answer. It's better to follow what you do know until you reach a conclusion than try to jump ahead and make one up that suits you.

No God and No Purpose

Foundations in life are necessary, or at the very least inevitable. You cannot look at the world through any set of eyes but your own, and these eyes of yours cannot help but have a perspective based on the mind they answer to.

You see the world in a certain way and that is determined by many factors, not the least of which is your relationship to religion. Whether you have it or you don’t, whether you cherish it or despise it, etc.

As such, for many years religion has been at the heart of my life and my worldview for basically as long as I can remember. I don't have memories of a life before the knowledge and belief of God. It's quite simply always been there. Changing that worldview to secular from religious is sort of like turning the ocean from salt water to fresh, or like trying to make The Office actually funny.

That's about how I feel when I watch it too.

 It is theoretically possible, but it encompasses your time, your life, and your passions. Everything you do, everything you think, everything you feel, every opinion you have is tainted by the former and challenged by the latter. How do I really feel about politics, social issues, environmental issues, laws against rape, personal behavior, the conduct of others, and everything else.

If you spend your whole life building up a perspective based on one thing and then rip out the foundation, it’s going to leave you feeling unsettled to say the least. Lost, and floating in an endless sea of questions without answers is better.

Pictured Above: Irony.

That’s not to say that without God, one cannot have purpose. This is not a phenomenon that is specific to religious belief. Anytime you have a drastic paradigm shift, you will find yourself grasping for something to hold on to. I would imagine that its even stronger with something like religion as it tends to be an all encompassing belief, when you throw out something so integrated into your worldview, then you are, understandably, left without much of a coherent worldview.

You cannot just automatically swap one for the other, the new one must be cultivated, it takes time to grow, time to fit into the circumstances of your life. After all, you may know that God created the world, then you may know that there is no evidence of this, that Evolution presents a pretty strong argument, but you don’t flip a switch and make a swap. It takes time. You must explore the new paradigm. Try it out, where it out to some parties, get it worn in. And this is just the scientific paradigm. You also have to come to terms with a life goal without a god, a marriage without a god, raising kids without a god. It’s going to take the rest of your life to really get it all worked out.

It hurts because it's true.

So this has been my dilemma: Feeling a certain emptiness, or a certain void that used to be filled with complete and trusting faith. Faith was found to be an unfit cork, and know I must shop around within myself to find something that fits a little better.

How do you live a life apart from everything your cultivated instincts tell you to do? I’m not sure yet, but I’m working on it.

The Stigma of Atheism

Atheism is a scary word, but it shouldn't be.

After all, if you don't believe in something because you are unconvinced, then why should that be so evil?

In my missionary days, I used to look at atheists with such scorn. They were clearly rebelling against God, and more than anything, they were shortsighted. If God is above man, then why should man try to prove him with science? That would be like fish being convinced that monkey's don't exist because they haven't seen any in the ocean. God, it is said, exists outside of the human realm and must be taken on faith, not science.

Of course, the one glaring flaw in this argument is in the origin of said belief. If God exists outside of human knowledge, then how do we know about him in the first place? Did he break the rules of faith and make himself visible? Did he speak audibly? Did he possess someone so they could speak for him? Whatever it is, can you prove how you know that to be true?

And this is where atheism takes over. No, they can't prove it. None of them can, but nonetheless, it is I, or rather We, the atheists who are scorned. Just because you feel something and think it is God, does not make it so. Just because something cool happens in your life does not make it divine intervention. Cool things happen to atheists too, atheists also have good feelings from time to time (when we're not eating babies, that is). So again, one can choose to apply a cause or an explanation wherever they wish, but some of us need it to be more definitive than that.

Society frowns on those who are different. I don't think it's much different to be an atheist now than it was to be anti-slavery a hundred fifty years ago, in the south anyway. Take for example, the King of Douchebags:

This is an old video, but it supports my point, so deal with it. It's somehow "offensive" to have the opposite opinion of the majority. You're not even permitted to disagree without people demanding you be silenced. This is the limit of free speech, say whatever you want unless it pisses someone off, then they can shut you up. Fortunately for reason and free thought, they were not silenced on this occasion. But notice how King Douche demands that the Governor focus on this free speech issue instead of the working to get people's jobs back. Just because there is an atheist message. This is the power of the stigma.

Nevermind that they want a religious display (nativity scene) on state property, they get all huffy and pissy when someone tells them that they are wrong. Freedom means the power to decide for yourself. It's not a Theocracy, it's not a police state, and people are usually more than happy to proclaim freedom until it means someone behaving in a way they don't approve of. This is true on both sides of the fence.

My personal opinion is that such attacks stem from the personal insecurity of the believer. If you could somehow KNOW that you were right, then it wouldn't matter if people disagreed. You might roll your eyes, or be annoyed at their blindness, but you wouldn't need to silence them. Anger in this case is a reaction to being threatened. This, of course, only strengthens the atheist position. There really is no reason at all to believe, except the desire for their to be something bigger than ourselves. But wishing a thing does not make it so.

The extremes of fanatical belief and forcing your own fantasies on others is very clearly seen in Texas and North Carolina in their State laws. It is actually illegal to hold public office if you do not profess a belief in a Supreme Being. Freedom of Religion my ass. Apparently, religion is free as long as you have one, but should you decide that there isn't actually any reason to believe in a Supreme Being, well, then...Ostracized!

You don't really see this with anything else do you? For people that believe crystals have magic powers, you aren't condemned for not blindly embracing it along with them. If you say that you're skeptical that UFO's visited Joe Bob last weekend, you can still be open about it. Same goes for crop circles, cryptozoology, alternative medicine, etc.

So why then, is being an atheist so much worse? If it's the exact same principle of withholding belief until the evidence is in, then what can possibly be so evil about it?

My brief theory is that Christians don't actually hate atheists, they see it as a foolish thing in the face of, as far as they're concerned, overwhelming proof of God's supernatural existence. They don't mind the odd atheist here and there, what gets them up in arms is when we atheists band together and try to make changes. Freedom of religion is fine until someone believes something different and gathers a large group of support. Let alone place opposite viewpoints next to your mythical nativity scenes.

The good news is that atheism seems to be growing. There are many closeted atheists who hide from the very stigma I'm talking about, but more and more they find that there are groups of people like them, where they are safe to ask questions and not believe.

Anyone reading who is looking for places like this, here are a few that I like:

www.ffrf.org
http://www.atheists.org/
http://new.exchristian.net/
http://www.atheistalliance.org/

How Could I Fall Away?

I am an atheist. I once was a Christian. Atheism is defined as someone who "lacks a belief in a god." It is not a definitive statement on god's existence, because no one can know such a thing. Rather it is simply the absence of a belief that others share. Much in the way that many of us are atheists about the Roman gods, or little green men, or Baal. It's not saying for sure they don't exist, but perhaps a bit presumptuous, we do feel we have a pretty good idea.

I'm pretty sure Invisible Pink Unicorns aren't real either.

 I spend quite a lot of my time these days thinking on religious and spiritual things. Initially, Atheism was a very hard first step, like pulling a boot of the mud. How could I turn my back on something that was such an enormous part of my life? What would people say? What would my family say? Surely I would become the gossip of the month among some of my former circles. People would no doubt speculate, draw baseless conclusions about my motivations, lose respect for me, rule me irrelevant to their lives, condemn criticize. After all, this was the community where I grew up, they walked me through some difficult times (and created some of their own).

How do you leave all you've ever known for something you've always shunned?

It's hard not to see myself with those eyes of old, as the straying sinner, the rebellious intellectual, the defiant, blind, faithless atheist. This is how I used to see people like myself. I was so critical of change, of people who doubted and acted on those doubts. I would say "How can someone do that? how can they have been so deeply in and still fall out?"  Needless to say, I don't really consider that a mystery anymore.

Even The Fray Fall Away.

How could I fall away?

It's damn near impossible to pinpoint the transition, but there were certainly some major factors involved, all of them personal, most of them internal.

I was extremely gung-ho about Christianity. It was the only source of truth. It was needed by all. It brought hope, salvation, light, love that the world could not offer. It was founded on a Rock and could not be destroyed. It promised an all knowing, all loving, all wise creator who knew the intimate details of my heart and did not judge me, but accepted me as I was (depending on the age of the testament). It was so wonderful, and so right, so overwhelmingly apparent. Who would reject it?

Well, in short, me. Or rather, people exactly like me. People who prefer to think for themselves, to question what they're instructed, to doubt what cannot be shown. I've always questioned things, as long as I can remember, though admittedly, never quite as vigorously as I do at the present. It was like I had that nagging voice that would go, "wait, you what? You heard God say what? That seems an awful lot like what you wanted him to say" or "Is that what this verse means really? How are you so sure?" or in later times, "Exactly what is this particular belief based on? I haven't read about it in the Bible" to "Well, what is any of this based on? Who was the original trustworthy source?"

I've talked a lot about these types of questions. The doubts that lead to greater doubts that lead to rejecting the faith. But if you haven't experienced these doubts yourself, or were never religious in the first place, then it may be hard to understand them.

So, think of it like a dam. Christianity sees itself very often in this way. They stand in the way of the river that is the World. The world would have things free of morality and standards and would simply run a muck with their cocks out while Christians keep things righteous and pleasing to God. It's much easier to understand if you realize that it's an us versus them mentality. It's about taking a side, not so much about seeking the truth. It's about resisting the flow of the water, remaining firm, unflinching, decided. There's no room for wishy-washy thinking, you are either committed or you're out because, dammitall, this is war.

Go ahead. Ask him if God exists.

If it's war, then you can't have soldiers questioning their senior officers decisions. You can't attack the beliefs of your government or your country, not while you're fighting. That's peace time talk, and when you're a Christian, there is no peace time. Urgency clouds judgment as all souls must be shown the light and quickly before the clock strikes zero. No one wants blood on their hands (unless it belongs to an atheist). There is no time to quibble over intricate philosophical or doctrinal differences, what matters is that people need to be saved. Can the existence of Jesus be proved? Well, reasonably enough for some. It doesn't really matter. People simply need to get to know Him and that's it. Who cares if the actual history is there? That would be like asking for the schematics of umbrellas before guarding yourself from the rain. Just use it already.

This is key to understanding my "fall" and, no doubt, the fall of others. I wouldn't use that word, I would use awakening, or discovery, enlightenment, or something of that sort.

If you stop buying into the urgency and realize that you want to be able to defend your beliefs, then come the questions. Digging leads not to answers, but to more digging and eventually you're through to the other side with naught to show but tired arms. Losing urgency was the first crack in the dam.

Next we have the inconsistency. Many people have a pretty good idea of what Christianity is about, what it means, and what the rules are. But put them in a room and ask them to come up with a list and you'll likely come back to find broken friendships, damaged trust and above all, disagreement. They tend to agree on some of the main points (Jesus sacrifice meant salvation) but then disagree on who exactly benefits from this. Is it a once and for all type of deal or must it be renewed with each transgression? Does it apply to babies or people mentally incapable of understanding? What about remote tribes who never hear? What about genuinely good people? Is it about works or isn't it? Even Paul and James couldn't agree on this point. This is just on the core principle, if you dare to wade into the waters of baptism, communion, morality, you're in for a very exhausting and ultimately unconvincing trip.

Everyone has their own justifications for any belief they hold sacred. There is always a verse that can be bent around anything. The same exact verse can mean two opposite things to two separate people. And yet, even disagreeing on core beliefs, they will still both call themselves Christians and more often than not, will reject the other persons brand of faith. They are misinformed, rebellious, ignorant, etc.

As described in the letters of Paul.

"You need to go to the Greek or the Hebrew" they say. Well, this is hardly an argument in favor of Christians. After all, if Christ wants everyone (even though they may not), then why not present the message in a way that transcends language? Why forsake the followers that come about after the Greek and Hebrew are no longer spoken? This either seems an incredible lack of foresight from an omniscient being, or implies that it was crafted by people who did not know the future and thus did not account for changing times and cultures. Or maybe there's a third option about how we got it wrong. Or maybe a fourth option that speculates further.

The point of all this is this: nobody knows. There is too much debate and no absolute standard for the truth. Nothing to measure beliefs against. The Bible can be interpreted, the believers can project their own sentiments, the ancients may not have allowed for modern times. Inconsistency is the second crack in the dam.

You don't really need more than one crack, and when you have two as large as these, it's really just a matter of time. Once you lose trust in your faith, you're just treading water until the damn dam breaks.

But there is another crack, which is more like dynamite. This is the crack of incompatibility.

Incompatibility with science. Incompatibility with human nature. Incompatibility with common sense.

There could be an entirely separate blog on this topic alone. (Indeed there are. Plenty.) But the real death knell of my faith came when I started to delve further into Skepticism.

Skepticism is not a position, as some believe. It is not simply saying no to any belief that is suggested. It's not refusing to see, refusing to acknowledge because it doesn't make sense to me. It's a method of obtaining the truth. It goes hand in hand with the Scientific method. It's about ruling out every other explanation before you proclaim something proved. It's about not accepting something because you want it to be true, or because many people already believe it. It's about accepting conclusions that are necessarily true and making no assumptions along the way.

Religion is, understandably, devoid of skepticism for the most part. There is the wandering question here and there, but press too hard and you'll meet antagonistic resistance. Not from all, indeed some people are more than happy to explain their positions, but even their truth has a point where evidence stops and assumptions begin. There is simply no getting around it. They call it faith. I call it guessing.

The overwhelming (this is the correct adjective) evidence for evolution, for an old earth, for an entirely natural universe squashes faith and most religious beliefs on these topics like an elephant a mouse. Even more so, because even a mouse offers some resistance. It's more akin to anything squashing a nothing. If this concept can even be imagined. Even air isn't good enough, because there are still pesky molecules in the way. There is literally zero evidence in favor of a young earth and all the rest of the world points to an old earth. So either God is a crafty bastard, or creationist read too much into the text.

 
Losing urgency, inconsistency, incompatibility. You've done busted yer dam. No foundation, no universal morality, no absolute truth (there are some, but no single all encompassing absolute). When you realize, when it dawns on you, that you've been holding onto nothing, then not only is it easy to let go, but you, by definition, already have.

I fell away because I discovered it wasn't real. It took some time, some internal battles, some pride, some resistance, but ultimately logical thinking won out.

Thank God for that, at least.

Resisting Apathy

I find that, strangely, the biggest battle as of late is fighting off a sort of spiritual apathy. Spiritual, not in the religious sense, but in terms of the alleged spiritual realm and the claims made of it. The vigor and momentum that spurred me one in pursuit of the truth is rather quiet recently. I want to learn more, to know more, to understand, to find the truth as best we can know it. But at the same time, there is a laziness that pulls me backward. Questions, or rather, backward impulses, that seem to bog me down. There is so much to learn and I'll probably never be a true expert without some sort of science education, so it begs the question: Why try to learn at all?

Pictured above: Knowledge.

I'm a very impulsive, mood driven person. I'm slow to commit to things because I'm also extremely cautious. I like to be sure that I'm right, sure that I'm not wasting my time. Oh, how I hate wasted time.

The problem, as I see it, is that perfect efficiency is impossible, being human, so wasted time is an inevitability. If I try to do anything, I will likely spend a good deal of effort on things that bring me no closer to that thing. This discourages me and causes me to shut down, to back away and try my hand at something I can definitely succeed at. (Like ending a sentence with a preposition).

This is, of course, a foolish way to intentionally proceed through life as you will get nothing done. You will never be perfectly efficient at something new, and there will always be a learning curve. You will always bumble your way toward efficiency and never truly attain it because you are still a human being. I guess I'm giving myself advice, if only it would take in a more effective manner.

I like reading about Darwinian Evolution to educate myself on the science and undo all the misinformation I was fed growing up. (Which is just about everything I thought I knew of Evolution, by the way). I still have the natural reflex that dismisses any and all scientific opinions as simply not understanding God enough, then I remember that no one understands God, not even the theistic experts. Everyone is just fucking guessing there way through life, convincing themselves their faith is true through repetitive exposure and then taking a stance against measurable truth because it just doesn't add up to them.

Pictured above: Evolution.

I hate that goddamn mentality. Such complete, voluntary blindness. There is absolutely no reason to think that way, but those folk are nonetheless entirely convinced. To the point of violence or at least vehement objection. It's mind boggling.

I got a little off track here, so let's return to my original topic: apathy. I really want to learn, I really want to know everything and the sheer amount of knowledge I still don't have so overwhelms me that instead I am pulled toward inaction. Why climb Everest equipped with naught but lonely pickaxe? At least, that's how it feels at the bottom.

I also feel somewhat stagnated by having announced my recent conclusions. It seems as though the pressure to remain consistent under scrutinizing eye adversely affects the freedom to simply spill thoughts onto the page. I guess that's another Everest for another time.

Pictured above: Horrendous Analogy

I've been reading a lot, expanding a lot, learning a lot, but still feel like I've progressed very little. Also, life itself gets in the way. Work, school, responsibilities all seem to cloud the mind and make unfettered intellectual absorption a thing nearly out of reach. After all, who wants to come home from a day of work, or school, or whatever and force your brain to tread into the, as far as it is concerned, uncharted waters of Science. It's extremely tiring and a tough thing to keep moving.

There's that damn perfectionism creeping in and making me feel like shit for not doing enough. I really think that is one of the most bittersweet things I've taken from religion. The push to rid myself of defects. It's not terribly healthy to always obsess about being perfect, but on the other hand, when channeled into ambition it can lead to terrific successes. One must learn to hold on, to pressure oneself while still leaving room to breath. Like a compassionate boa constrictor.

Pictured above: Solid Parenting.

I feel that this blog is one of my best way to keep myself motivated. I don't really care if people judge or criticize, I'm not really concerned with the scrutinizing eye, I don't really even care about defending my position. I simply want to be informed for my own peace of mind. This blog is a good place to hash through some of the challenges, condemning as they may be, for the overall good of the Truth.

Push and Pull

I've always found the ocean to serve as a wonderful metaphor for life and it's struggles. Be it with religion, science, self identity, career, marriage, life goals. It's all summed up in the ebb and flow of the tide, the tussle of the waves, the storms, the calm, the life, the death. It has it's own will, it serves no master. The ocean simply is and everything else abides it.

So, as I struggle with my new found lack of belief, I find myself to be for some reason in a hurry to arrive. It doesn't seem to matter how often I remind myself that the struggle is it's own reward, I nevertheless want it to be perpetually behind me. Total complacency is truly the most sought after hell.

So, I've spent a lot of time up to this point fighting to free myself of religion's shackles. Shackles is an entirely appropriate term here. If you think I'm overstating it, then you've clearly never tried to leave a religion.

One of my favorite targets while still within the holy walls was something my dad termed "The Tyranny of the Shoulds." He may not have come up with it originally, but I'm making the rules here dammit, and I say he did. Now piss off.

What this refers to, in essence, is the idea that you come across among the most fundamental believers. The idea that you "should" be a certain way, "should" behave a certain way, "should" think, act, eat, dress, speak, grieve, sleep, marry, choose, decide, fucking LIVE a certain way. Any single point of view about anything in the world can be backed up with scripture (very often in a convincing manner) if you look hard enough. This is because of that fact that the Bible is allowed to be interpreted. If I'm allowed to let the Holy Ghost speak through his word however he sees fit, then it's not limited to it's literal interpretation, but can be bend, molded, shaped for my own personal understanding. This doesn't mean that they Bible itself changes, but that the Holy Spirit can just draw my attention to something in the way that friends might reference some inside joke, one to another, by focusing on something specific that makes sense only to them.

Now multiply this by 2.1 billion and you have the number of possible interpretations of a given verse.

This is not a blog post about the lunacy of personal revelation however, so we'll simply take this as a given for now.

That means you can have 2,099,999,999 different opinions about what you should be doing with your time right this second. All justified in scripture. All claiming divine revelation from an immutable, all knowing, never contradicting God.

The average Christian deals with this on a much smaller scale of course, but spend any amount of time in a church and you'll run into a few strong willed people who have a better idea of how to live your life than you do. That's all it takes. Grow up around enough of these self righteous know-it-alls and you will find yourself living quite aggressively under the Tyrannical Should.

It can quite often substitute itself for your own thoughts and reasoning. It can quite easily become your autopilot whenever you need or have trained it to do so. It's like you have an incessant nagging voice that questions your every move and makes you doubt even the most obvious assertions. It's a voice that micromanages your damn thoughts. Have you ever had a really shitty boss who can't stop correcting your every action? Now give them access to your mind and take them around with you 24 hours a day. That's the Tyrannical Should cackling in a Should-like way at every free-willed impulse that 'sinfully' creeps out of your choices.

Granted, this is based on my own experiences and it's quite likely that some Christians have no idea what I'm talking about. I say likely...I don't mean it though.

So, needless to say, the Tyrannical Should is not a burden easily cast aside. It has hold of your very impulse control, it knows you would shirk it and berates you ahead of time. It takes a great deal of motivation and will power to learn to resist such a force, but it is not impossible.

So this has been my battle. I embrace Science, reject the church, but that nagging impulse would not be silenced. It requires no evidence, no reason, no logic for it stems from brute emotional prowess. It knows every button to press, every arm to twist, every shoulder to pin. It cannot be out-emotioned, but one must train oneself to ignore it. To let said malicious call fall upon deaf ears as often as it sounds. Like a crying child who rejects his bedtime, a harsh passive resistance is the only method of any measurable efficiency.

The Should would prevent you from changing your mind, from exploring new contradictory ideas, from testing, from trying, from growing. It would have you as you are until you are not at all. It casts doubt, confusion, guilt, shame, insecurity and greatest of all, Fear. It may not be a very good motivator, but it is an excellent Achilles Heel.

It is a hard fucking thing to leave behind your childhood beliefs. Tooth, nail and claw to the very end. It's like the ocean, high tides and low tides, undertow and surface current. You believed yourself to be in a boat, weathering the storm and suddenly found it to be a sinking raft. Hurled into the dark, cold waters and left to fend for yourself. Your Captain, it turns out, was imagined. He offers no hand, no guiding light, no lifesaver, no help. You must swim and tread water, and float and breathe and sink and swim all on your own. The direction is unclear, there is no way you "should" go, there is only where you are. Occasionally the clouds break and the moon grants brief insight, but just as quickly they seal themselves and leave you to your quandary.

No one is able to help, if they did, you would learn nothing. You would suffer less and your reward, understanding, knowledge and enlightenment would remain out of reach. You must endure, be hurled to the shore and ripped back out to sea. This is life, this is the instability of true understanding, of true knowledge. Storms come and go, but you never cease to float until you drown. You swim one way then another, never certain, but desiring certainty does not make it exist.

I'm firm in my decision, I'm just splashing all the way there.